Coping With Death: Can An Urn Of Ashes Help You Get Over The Loss?

Death is something most people have difficulty coping with, yet doing so is an inevitable part of living and loving. While nothing can bring back or replace a departed loved one, keeping them close may help the living deal with their loss. Here are five ways cremation may help you deal with the death of someone you love:

The Closeness An Urn Gives You

Particularly in the weeks following your loss, having the cremated remains in your immediate environment provides you with a continued connection. You can reach out and physically touch the urn, conveying your emotions while still having something to hold on to. Since saying farewell is such a difficult and painful process, any bond that remains is significant to the grieving process. An urn provides you with that continued connection and permanent remembrance.

Personal And Important Conversations

Most people talk to themselves for one reason or another, and many people believe loved ones are watching over them. When a lost love is kept close by in an urn, such conversations hold deeper meaning and can even be therapeutic. Carrying on a "discussion" with someone who has passed can help the living resolve issues, find forgiveness and deal with the residual effects of problems they may have had in the relationship. This is an important aspect of carrying on for the living.

There is also the benefit of "discovering" the opinion of your loved one through simple conversation. For example, if you're perplexed about something major and would have sought their advice if they were around, talking aloud and predicting what they might have said could help you reach a decision. Of course, it's not the same as actually having the opportunity to look them in the eyes, hear their voice and feel their love, but it will allow you to toss around their ideas and embrace you with the wisdom and care they held for you in life.

Avoiding The Traumatic Finality Of Covering A Casket With Dirt

While no part of a funeral is easy to emotionally digest, laying the casket in a freshly dug grave is undeniably the worst. From the moment a loved one is lowered, the finality of death strikes deep and the full brunt of the loss is felt. Facing this traumatic scene is avoided when cremation and an urn are chosen instead.

For some people, witnessing the entire funeral procession brings closure, but for many others, that final goodbye is simply too much. When you can instead bring the loved one back home with you, giving them a carefully chosen place in your home, you and others may have more time to grieve and in a more comforting, psychologically supportive manner. This means you can negotiate the emotional upheaval of the loss with more time and care than a burial permits.

Doing More For The Earth

For every 1,000 burials, about an acre of precious land is lost. In death, your loved one leaves a reduced carbon footprint when cremation is chosen over a traditional casket and burial. That can really matter to both the departed and the living, because the final act is thoughtful and beneficial to future generations. It is perhaps just one more good thing you can say about your lost loved one, that they cared about others even after they were gone.

Giving Everyone Who Cared A Better Way To Grieve

While one person is most often in possession of the urn containing the ashes of a loved one, there's no reason it can't be shared with others. Each person affected by the loss can benefit in their own unique way by being in the company of the urn. Since grieving is dealt with in different ways and stages by everyone, the ashes can be given a new temporary home as needed, to aid in coping and healing.

Saying goodbye to someone you love is easily one of the most difficult things you'll ever be faced with. Although cremation doesn't doesn't lessen the burden on your heart, it can certainly benefit your psyche.