Grief is a burden that nobody wants to bear. However, once a spouse passes away, grief is inevitable. In fact, losing a spouse is at the top of the top life stressors anyone can face, so you need to give yourself time and space to grieve as well as help while doing so.
Family grief counseling can help you and your kids heal together in the aftermath of a loss. As you go through the stages of grief and life goes on, you will eventually find yourself ready to date again. Grief counseling is the perfect setting to discuss this topic with your children and prepare them for this next major life shift.
Let Your Grief Counselor Know What's Up
Your grief counselor is on your side and wants to help your family heal. Let your grief counselor know that you want to talk about dating again during a counseling session, and they may provide you with insights on how to address it with your children. Since your therapist will have knowledge of where your kids are in their own grieving process, your grief counselor can help you decide the best approach for your children.
Be Up Front About Your Intentions
If you plan on dating regardless of what your children say, don't tell them otherwise. It is very important that your children know they can count on you to be honest with them. As the only surviving parent, kids can get very insecure, and lying to them can make matters worse. Let your children know where you stand on dating again and how long you are willing to wait if there is a problem with the situation.
Reassure Your Children of Their Place in Your Life
Grief can be overwhelming for children, and they may not feel that they are ready for a parent to date even years after a death. That doesn't mean that you have to put your life on hold, though. No matter what you decide to do, lavish affection on your children, and reassure them of their place in your life. You can reassure them that they will remain your priority, and some of the insecurities they have may eventually fade away.
Finally, keep in mind that your children may not react the way that you wish they would. Grief can hit kids harder than adults because they have not yet developed the coping skills that come with growing up, and they may act out in ways that feel unfair to you. Keep working on the topic in therapy, and you and your children can likely figure out a solution with the help of a grief counselor from a funeral home like Gillies Funeral Chapel.